It is about that time. If you are even a casual reader of this blog, you can tell that my affinity for ESPN is quite low. So without further ado, here are my top five reasons for why ESPN sucks.
1.) ESPN is the cause for conference realignment. Yep that’s right. It is all ESPN’s fault that the rivalries and traditions of college sports have deteriorated. Why? Well, why have schools gone from the Big 12 to the SEC, the Big East to the Big 12 etc?….money. Where does the money come from? TV Contracts! And on what tv stations do 90 percent of the college games play? Well, the “ESPN Family of Networks” of course. Those ESPN Family of Networks just keep paying a ridiculous amount of money to air college football games, that schools are thus taking advantage. And Why not…it isn’t the school’s fault that ESPN employs a bunch of morons. Then, what really bugs me is that the same ESPN idiots who have been the cause of conference realignment, start pointing fingers at the schools and their Presidents. ” Well, it’s Missouri’s fault that the Big 12 almost imploded because they wanted to get to the SEC. Well it’s Syracuse’s fault that they are moving to the ACC.” No you morons. It is your fault because you are paying conferences a ridiculous amount of money to air a game where you don’t really have a lot of competition.
2.) Their Groundbreaking News is Usually Wrong. As far as groundbreaking news goes, ESPN is barely a step above the National Enquirer. Let’s take the Albert Pujols signing this past winter as an example. When was the first time you ever heard that the Angels were even in the mix? Oh yeah basiclaly when Pujols signed on the dotted line. Great investigative journalism ESPN. I thought you were the WorldWide Leader Sports.
3.) The Decision. Enough said. Yes Lebron is evil and a complete idiot. However, you would think grown men would know better. Then, of course, these are the same people who then chastised Lebron for months on end about what an awful thing he did.
4.) Their Experts aren’t Experts. I love when ESPN asks the Experts about their predictions for the upcoming champion of the four major sports. For example, take a look at who 33 out of the 45 “experts” picked to win the World Series last year. The Red Sox…hmmm interesting since ESPN is based in Bristol, CT and the closest baseball team are the Red Sox. Also, these guys aren’t experts. They are either reporters, anchors, or washed up has been or never was professional sports players who would rather come up with some new schtick than actually do any reasearch. They just have an opinion like everyone else. You know what ESPN should do? Ask someone out in Iowa sitting on their couch with a sausage hanging out of their mouth who they think the 2012 MLB Champion will be. That would at least be entertaining, and make more sense than the junk these experts pull out of their butts.
5.) Mel Kiper, Chris Berman et al. They suck period. They aren’t funny, they aren’t original, they think they know everything, problem is they don’t and they’re not.
6.) ESPN Insider: You are so special that you make people pay extra for your great opinion…errr (ahem!) investigative reporting. Wow you really do suck.